It is December and the air is crisp and chilling.
The trees stand naked and vulnerable.
The sky is overcast and gloomy.
The birds have flown south and their songs are a distant memory.
The sidewalks are hard and bare.
There are no flowers sprouting from the cracks.
The salt from the last snowfall left a chalk-white stain all over town.
People stay inside, trying to keep warm, and the streets are lonely.
This is winter.
That is to say, even the weather feels a little gray sometimes.
New Year's resolutions and intentions are exciting. While they may feel daunting or difficult, there is a sense of newness and aspiration that make them a fun way to welcome the new year.
Most of us wait until the first day of January to begin our resolutions. Why wait? Why not start early and get the snowball rolling? The holiday season can be a stressful time, so fully emerging yourself in your resolutions may not be practical, but starting to at least toy with the idea of them could make or break their success.
A lot of us make resolutions that have to do with our diets. Whether you want to cut out sweets or start going to the gym, being a healthier version of yourself is always a good idea. However, we all know that the holiday season is not necessarily the time to stop eating sweets, our busy schedules may not allow time to go to the gym, and the weather limits our options for activities like hiking or going on a bike ride. That doesn't mean you can't start working toward your goals now. Do research on what lifestyle changes are right for you. Make a schedule for how you plan on fitting workouts into your schedule. Buy some new or thrifted workout outfits. Make little changes that don't entirely take away from the joys of holiday dinners and all of the sweet desserts this time of year has to offer. Drinking more water or eating smaller portions of the food you love might seem difficult at first but will make the transition after the new year much easier.
Saving money or getting out of debt is another common resolution. Buying gifts and traveling may not make those goals easy to achieve at this time. Make a budget for yourself. Start thinking about what necessities you have to pay for like food, gas, and rent. Try to figure out how much you should put aside for personal spending. Be realistic so that you have a better chance of sticking with your budget, but if you do this now, you’ll have all of January to tweak what isn’t working. Many of us make the mistake of waiting until January which means we lose time, and in this case, money.
Instead of spending the first month setting yourself up for success, you'll have already done so. Whatever your intentions for the new year are, I hope you are able to stick with them. Get excited about the changes you plan to make after the new year and get started now.
I know it is not always easy to leave someone you love, but if you are truly meant to be together, the universe will make it happen. I know that breaking up does not mean you will never be together again, but sometimes, you both need time to learn and grow individually before you can be happy together. When I have these conversations with friends, the question always poses itself, “why do people choose to live miserably?”
Earlier this week, I met up with a close friend. We sipped wine and ordered take-out and talked about our lives. We spent a lot of time talking about her relationship and the problems she has
been facing. This is not the first conversation we have had regarding this topic and I always tell her the same thing; break up with him.
It is not because I don’t like her boyfriend. It’s actually quite the contrary. I am good friends with both of them. Their happiness is extremely important to me and seeing them both struggle to maintain a happy and healthy relationship is hard. They’ve been dealing with the same personal issues for about a year with little to no relief. Every time she calls me or texts me to talk about what’s going on, I tell her the same thing. Break up. Each time I tell her this, I remind her that I love both of them and I just want to see them happy and if that means not being with each other, than so be it.
If there is an aspect of your life that is making you unhappy, do something. Don’t be afraid of change; embrace it. Welcome new opportunities and experiences with open arms. We are each given one life. Why waste it being unhappy? If there is something you can do to change the situation you are in, do it. It might be heartbreaking, or scary, or stressful, but if it could ultimately bring you happiness, it’s worth trying.
Be smart about your decisions though. When you’re unhappy, it is easy to be impulsive. You might feel like you have nothing to lose. Don’t just quit your job without having another one lined up or at least a plan of action. Don’t leave your unhappy relationship and jump straight into another one before taking time to learn about the last one. Don’t drop out of school only to spend months in bed. Yes, it is vital to take time for yourself to rest or to heal. But it is also vital to keep moving forward.
Even if you have to fake it till you make it, keep trying. If you quit your job only to work somewhere else that doesn’t immediately make you happy, take it as an opportunity to meet new people or to expand your qualifications and experience. If you decide to leave a relationship and you feel lonely and like part of who you were is missing, take it as an opportunity to fall in love with yourself. If you drop out of school and feel misplaced or like you don’t have any idea what you’re supposed to be doing, take the time to rediscover what you love. Set little goals for yourself to accomplish everyday to remind yourself that you are still a success. Go to work, read, water your plants, make breakfast, clean your car, volunteer, work out, do yoga, meditate, learn something new about anything at all. These are all little achievements that should be celebrated.
We are instinctual creatures. We know, in our hearts, what is best for us. Eventually, your life will begin to morphe around the changes you make, whatever they may be. Don’t let the fear of the future or the “what ifs” hold you back from being happy. Don’t spend the rest of your life making decisions based on comfort and simplicity.
Choose to be happy before anything else.
Are you happy?
After work one night earlier this week, I was waiting in the incredibly long lines of my local Walmart. It was a little after midnight, and usually I become rather impatient, but that night I just accepted the situation. I read a magazine about mental health and observed the people around me having conversations among themselves.
I took the time to reflect on myself. Recently, I have been attempting to be more positive. I may not always be bubbly or in a good mood, but I have been trying to take control of my thoughts and actions. Instead of becoming upset or immediately thinking negatively, I have been trying to train my brain to have a positive outlook.
For example, working in the service industry, I spend my day tending to people’s needs. Everyone is different and some people can be rather difficult. A lot of the time, I become frustrated and I begin to think nasty thoughts in my head which starts a snowball effect.. Our minds are powerful places. When we have negative thoughts, a black cloud blankets our brain and our entire perspective becomes that of negativity. So, when I catch myself thinking negatively, I try to immediately change my thoughts to positive ones.
Instead of being annoyed that someone has modified their dinner order immensely, I think about how lucky we are to live in a world with so much food variety and deliciousness. When some of my coworkers needed help getting their shifts covered, I worked for them. I implemented the mindset of doing for others what I hope is done for me. When my manager asked me to stay late on a Saturday night, I said yes even though I was exhausted. If I had not stayed, I knew my coworkers would have struggled throughout the shift which would, in turn, cause an outburst of negativity.
So I am standing in line, rather proud of myself for truly trying to control my perspective, when a man gets in line behind me. I am looking at a unicorn chap stick and deciding whether or not to get it for my youngest sister. We begin to make small talk about the long lines and the temptation of the impulse buys. Neither one of us is overly friendly but we are also not forcing our conversation. As the cashier scans my items, we talk about how delicious the cake is that he is purchasing. The cashier tells me my total and as I am getting the cash from my wallet, the man says to just add his two items to my bill because he is going to take care of it. At first I didn’t hear him correctly. He then said, “I’m serious, just put it all together. I’m going to take care of it.”
I felt tears in my eyes. My first thoughts were, “What did I do to deserve this?” But he insisted. I thanked him over and over again, still in disbelief. I walked to my car and called a friend to tell her about the amazing act of kindness I had just received. As he was leaving the parking lot, he drove by and and the words he said will stick with me forever. He simply said, "Remember, good things happen to good people."
Laura is passionate about the power of words and she hopes to share her advice and experiences in an artistic and interesting way.