I know it is not always easy to leave someone you love, but if you are truly meant to be together, the universe will make it happen. I know that breaking up does not mean you will never be together again, but sometimes, you both need time to learn and grow individually before you can be happy together. When I have these conversations with friends, the question always poses itself, “why do people choose to live miserably?”
Earlier this week, I met up with a close friend. We sipped wine and ordered take-out and talked about our lives. We spent a lot of time talking about her relationship and the problems she has
been facing. This is not the first conversation we have had regarding this topic and I always tell her the same thing; break up with him.
It is not because I don’t like her boyfriend. It’s actually quite the contrary. I am good friends with both of them. Their happiness is extremely important to me and seeing them both struggle to maintain a happy and healthy relationship is hard. They’ve been dealing with the same personal issues for about a year with little to no relief. Every time she calls me or texts me to talk about what’s going on, I tell her the same thing. Break up. Each time I tell her this, I remind her that I love both of them and I just want to see them happy and if that means not being with each other, than so be it.
If there is an aspect of your life that is making you unhappy, do something. Don’t be afraid of change; embrace it. Welcome new opportunities and experiences with open arms. We are each given one life. Why waste it being unhappy? If there is something you can do to change the situation you are in, do it. It might be heartbreaking, or scary, or stressful, but if it could ultimately bring you happiness, it’s worth trying.
Be smart about your decisions though. When you’re unhappy, it is easy to be impulsive. You might feel like you have nothing to lose. Don’t just quit your job without having another one lined up or at least a plan of action. Don’t leave your unhappy relationship and jump straight into another one before taking time to learn about the last one. Don’t drop out of school only to spend months in bed. Yes, it is vital to take time for yourself to rest or to heal. But it is also vital to keep moving forward.
Even if you have to fake it till you make it, keep trying. If you quit your job only to work somewhere else that doesn’t immediately make you happy, take it as an opportunity to meet new people or to expand your qualifications and experience. If you decide to leave a relationship and you feel lonely and like part of who you were is missing, take it as an opportunity to fall in love with yourself. If you drop out of school and feel misplaced or like you don’t have any idea what you’re supposed to be doing, take the time to rediscover what you love. Set little goals for yourself to accomplish everyday to remind yourself that you are still a success. Go to work, read, water your plants, make breakfast, clean your car, volunteer, work out, do yoga, meditate, learn something new about anything at all. These are all little achievements that should be celebrated.
We are instinctual creatures. We know, in our hearts, what is best for us. Eventually, your life will begin to morphe around the changes you make, whatever they may be. Don’t let the fear of the future or the “what ifs” hold you back from being happy. Don’t spend the rest of your life making decisions based on comfort and simplicity.
Choose to be happy before anything else.
Are you happy?
Laura is passionate about the power of words and she hopes to share her advice and experiences in an artistic and interesting way.